She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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