a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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