Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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