I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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