My room smells like vodka and shame
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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