I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize