Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
