Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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