ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The ass gains better be worth it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
