do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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