I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize