I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
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Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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