I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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