Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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