ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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