i barfeds in our rink
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
