Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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