i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
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Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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