I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Randomize
