i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
