apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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