sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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