i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
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Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.