It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I will be naked everywhere
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
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I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.