So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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