Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Michael Bay diarrhea
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
