In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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