I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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