i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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