Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
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i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
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I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.