I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm drive I can fine osifer
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?