I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini