I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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