I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.