I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
this is an emotional support booty call
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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