lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
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He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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