Jerry, you need to find god
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize