Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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