btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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