Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
