I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.