Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.