For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza