Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.