we have officially lost it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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