my mouth tastes like poor choices
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
