I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize