Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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