good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
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He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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