I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
