im about as happy as oj after his trial
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
