Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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