Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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