His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize