the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
