That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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