Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
